


hypochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

by orphan_account



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Group chat, M/M, Multi, Texting, georgie is 10, georgie is minor but everyone loves georgie, mlm author, nd author, not just because im listening to the soundtrack rn, richie also fucking loves camp rock, richie has adhd, stan has anxiety, theyre all like 16/17 in this and juniors, trans author, trans richie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-17 20:46:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12373722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: trashmouth::-)Blessed has left THE DANGER ZONE™trashmouth:OJFNEROVBERVIO





	1. sup hets

**Author's Note:**

> first chapter's a bit short!! im testin the waters here
> 
>  **NAME GUIDE**  
>  **Richie:** trashmouth  
>  **Bill:** billiam  
>  **Eddie:** eddsworth  
>  **Stan:** Stan the Man  
>  **Bev:** biverly  
>  **Ben:** Egg Prince  
>  **Mike:** Blessed

**Sunday, October 15th, 12:34 p.m.**

**trashmouth added billiam, eddsworth, Blessed, and Stan the Man to THE DANGER ZONE™**

**billiam:** can I add bev

 **trashmouth:** she blocked me :-//

 **Stan the Man:** She didn’t block you stop being dramatic

**Blessed added biverly and Egg Prince to THE DANGER ZONE™**

**trashmouth:** MIKE I TRUSTED YOU

 **Blessed:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **biverly:** SUP HETS

 **Blessed:** i regret everything

 **eddsworth:** what did ben do that you didnt add him

 **trashmouth:** he wouldve taken her side

 **Egg Prince:** you asked her if i wrote her any Explicit Poems

 **trashmouth** : BUT DID YOU???

 **biverly:** beep beep richie

 **trashmouth** : i think i have my answer

 **billiam:** Beep Beep, Richie

 **trashmouth:** [smugknifecat.jpeg]

 

**Sunday, October 15th, 1:12 p.m.**

**trashmouth:** where the fuck is eddie

 **eddsworth:** im not giving you the answers to the chem homework

 **trashmouth:** >:-00

 **Stan the Man:** Why do you give your faces noses?

 **trashmouth:** what if the face wants a nose stan

 **Stan the Man:** Why are you like this?

 **trashmouth:** THIS IS REAL

 **billiam:** not again

 **trashmouth:** THIS IS ME

 **billiam:** richie please,,

 **trashmouth:** why dont you appreciate Camp Rock billiam,,,

 **Blessed:** whats,,, camp rock,,,

 **eddsworth:** MIKE NO

 **trashmouth:** :-)

**Blessed has left THE DANGER ZONE™**

**trashmouth:**  OJFNEROVBERVIO

 **billiam:** MIKE NO

 **Stan the Man:** Rest in peace Mike, you will be missed.

 

**Sunday, October 15th, 7:42 p.m.**

 

**trashmouth // billiam**

**trashmouth:** hows it goin w micholas hage and starlord

 **billiam:** hows it going with eddie?

 **trashmouth:** touche

 **trashmouth:** do u think i could come over for dinner i dont think we have anything and i dont wanna go shopping tonight

 **billiam:** i asked my mom and georgie said yes so yea ill set you a plate

 **trashmouth:** what would i do w/o the loml

 **billiam:** i thought that was eddie?

 **trashmouth:** its actually ur moms cooking but ok

 **billiam:** you wanna watch camp rock?

 **trashmouth:** fuck yea

 **trashmouth:** should we invite the others?

 **billiam:** not like my parents have a choice at this point

 

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**billiam:** were gonna watch camp rock at my house whos down

 **Egg Boy:** we have?? school in the morning???

 **trashmouth:** and?? its Camp Rock???

 **biverly:** yea im down, ill just tell my aunt were studying

 **eddsworth:** my mom probably wont let me

 **trashmouth:** im sure if i get her alone i can convince her ;-3c

 **eddsworth:** shut the fuck up furry

 **Stan the Man:** 1\. No, I refuse to ever watch Camp Rock again and 2. when are we adding Mike back?

**billiam added Blessed to THE DANGER ZONE™**

**Blessed:** ,,,

 **billiam:** you wanna come over and watch camp rock?

 **trashmouth:** :-)

 **Blessed:** only so i can get context

 **trashmouth:** YES


	2. bedtime torah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie is that friend who never shuts the fuck up in the gc tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eddie is missing most of this chapter so ill make up for it in the next one also finally decided to add trans richie bc i have to rub my gay trans hands all over everything

**Sunday, October 15th, 11:34 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**Blessed:** had to sneak home late but

**Blessed:** guess im a Camp Rock stan now

**trashmouth:** YES!!!!!

**eddsworth:** oh no,,,

**biverly:** eddie you cant keep denying how good Camp Rock is

**Stan the Man:** Go to bed you fucking heathens.

**trashmouth:** stan,,, ur awake too

**Stan the Man:** Sorry. Can’t hear you over my Rabbi.

**trashmouth:** isnt ur dad ur rabbi?

**Stan the Man:** Oh look my Dad-Rabbi, reading me the holy Torah as a bedtime story.

**Stan the Man:** Goodnight, you dispicable, not sleeping, demon children.

**biverly:** ofuchqcb

 

**Monday, October 16th, 7:02 a.m.**

**trashmouth:** who wants to dress up as me and go to my second period ap calculus class for me

**Stan the Man:** Absolutely no one, Richie.

**billiam:** why did you even take ap calculus

**trashmouth:** oh billiam we all know i cant afford college

**trashmouth:** academic scholarship my buddy

**Egg Prince:** if you send any of us into that class ur just giving urself an F

**Blessed:** i thought you were passing richie

**trashman:** oh yea i have an A dont worry about that i just dont wanna show up

**eddsworth:** then?? why ask???

**trashmouth:** do not question the unquestionable

**eddsworth:** what the fuck does that mean,,

**Monday, October 16th, 12:21 a.m.**

**Egg Prince:** we had to write about our friends in creative writing

**trashmouth:** so u wrote abt how amazing i am

**Egg Prince:** i wrote about how terrible yall are

**Egg Prince:** except mike stan and bev ofc

**billiam:** what did i ever do

**Egg Prince:** bill is that a serious question

**Egg Prince:** you sent me a pic of a furry last week and asked me to rate it on a hotness scale of 1-10

**billiam:** i did no such thing

**Egg Prince:** [billisafurry.jpeg]

**trashmouth:** hey william

**trashmouth:** hey william what the actual fuck

**billiam:** ,,,

**billiam:** i can explain

**billiam has left THE DANGER ZONE™**

 

**Egg Prince:** GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD

**Monday, October 16th, 2:58 p.m.**

**trashmouth // biverly**

**trashmouth:** your aunt can sew right

**biverly:** no i will not have her make an eddie body pillow for you

**trashmouth:** you know what fuck u ill learn to sew on my own

**biverly:** what do u need her to sew

**trashmouth:** the seams of my binder are starting to rip

**biverly:** can you bring it over this week?

**trashmouth:** im at ur door already

**biverly:** its unlocked shes in the living room

**trashmouth:** thanks mom

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**biverly:** [richielearningtosew.jpeg]

**Stan the Man:** Why would you give him needles?

**biverly:** stanley blease,, hes learning

**eddsworth:** ok but why would you give him needles bev

**trashmouth:** yall r so fuckin rude im actually great at sewing

**Blessed:** im proud of u richie

**trashmouth:** at least someone is ty mike ur the loml

**Egg Prince:** as long as no one gets hurt i mean

**biverly:** richie just stabbed himself w the needle brb

**Egg Prince:** i spoke too soon

**Stan the Man:** Not as quick with his hands as he is his mouth, huh.

**Blessed:** hey uh wheres bill

**Egg Prince:** read up

**Blessed added billiam to THE DANGER ZONE™**

**Blessed:** hey bill ily but what the fuck

**Billiam:** you what

**biverly // billiam**

**biverly:** careful, ur gay is showing

**billiam:** bev i swear to god

**biverly:** ;-)

**Monday, October 16th, 7:00 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**biverly:** so eddie just dropped his phone in the toilet at the aladdin

**billiam:** is he ok

**biverly:** hes hyping himself up to stick his hand in the toilet rn

**Egg Prince:** why are you in the bathroom w him,,

**biverly:** i heard him scream and told the worker id take care of it

**trashmouth:** my poor angel,,, elbow deep in a movie theatre toilet,,

**billiam:** theatre

**biverly:** theatre

**Egg Prince:** theatre

**Blessed:** theatre

**Stan the Man:** Theatre

**biverly:** [elbowdeep.mov]

**billiam:** holy shit are you sure hes ok

**biverly:** he got it and now hes aggressively using handsanitizer

**biverly:** why the fuck does eddie just carry around a bag of rice,,,

**trashmouth:** henry used to drop our phones in water all the time

**biverly:** ew i fuckin hate him

**biverly:** [disgusted.jpeg]

**trashmouth:** what the fuck that pic is so cute

**billiam:** gay

**trashmouth:** look whos fuckin talkin

**billiam:** beep beep

**Blessed:** ???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note on updates!!: this isnt gonna be an everyday update thing but more of a frequent when i feel like it, which may or may not end up being everyday for periods at a time


	3. i dont trust the catholic church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two words:
> 
> Camp.
> 
> ROCK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapters a lil short sorry!! ive been wanting 2 do this since i started so like why not just fuckin go for it lmao

**Thursday, October 19th, 10:42 a.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**eddsworth:** do rabbis perform exorcisms

**Stan the Man:** Why do you need to know?

**eddsworth:** because richie is a demon and i dont trust the catholic church

**trashmouth:** are u still angry abt those fries

**eddsworth:** YOU ATE MY FRIES RICHARD

**Stan the Man:** What the fuck, Richard?

**trashmouth:** i bought u more tho

**Stan the Man:** Rabbis do perform exorcisms but they need to have mastered practical Kabbalah first.

**eddsworth:** im gonna assume from ur tone of text ur dad has Not in fact mastered practical kabbalah

**Stan the Man:** He hasn’t, you also need a minyan present, Psalm 91 to recite, and a shofar to play.

**eddsworth:** why is this so complicated

**Stan the Man:** It’s either this or start trusting the Catholic Church.

**trashmouth:** or NOT exorcising me

**trashmouth:** thats always an option

**biverly:** but thats no fun

**eddsworth:** i love fries RICHIE DONT INTERACT

**eddsworth:** richie stopped being the loml the day he ate my fries

**trashmouth:** do your own math homework

**biverly // eddsworth**

**biverly:** the,,,

**eddsworth:** bev ill fight you

**biverly:** love of ur life

**biverly:** Huh

**eddsworth:** BEVERLY

**biverly:** :-)

**trashmouth // biverly**

**trashmouth:** [lomlcalledmethelohl.jpeg]

**trashmouth:** BEV

**biverly:** gay

**trashmouth:** YEA

**trashmouth:** what do i do,,,,

**biverly:** camp rock

**trashmouth:** Camp Rock

**Thursday, October 19th, 8:09 p.m.**

**trashmouth // eddsworth**

**trashmouth:** open ur window

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**eddsworth:** [gay.mov]

**eddsworth:** richie is outside my window playing fuckin gotta find u from camp rock

**billiam:** is he?? playing the guitar?? 

**Stan the Man:** Whose guitar is that?

**biverly:** my aunts

**eddsworth:** he stopped playing what,,

**trashmouth:** I GIVE U MY LOVE AND U MAKE FUN OF ME IN THE GC???

**eddsworth:** ur outside my window playing CAMP ROCK

**eddsworth:** also wait,,,

**Blessed:** this is so cute omg

**Egg Prince:** aww

**trashmouth:** eds let me in im freezing

**eddsworth:** 1\. stop calling me eds and 2. the window is unlocked

**trashmouth:** i cant just leave bevs aunts guitar out here

**biverly:** we shouldve thought tht thru,,,

**eddsworth:** stay outside im grabbing a jacket

**trashmouth:** shout out 2 bev for coming up w this plan in our study hall ily (no hetero)

**Thursday, October 19th, 9:12 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**biverly:** its been an hour please tell me yall didnt get kidnapped by a murderous clown or somethin

**eddsworth:** we walked around and talked and uh??

**trashmouth:** were dating now

**Blessed:** god bless

**Stan the Man:** Finally, you both are painful to be around when you’re pining.

**trashmouth:** oh and ur not??

**Stan the Man:** Beep beep, Richie.

**billiam:** ,,,

**biverly:** dont even get me started on u

**Blessed:** omg

**Blessed:** who are yall pining after

**biverly:** oh m

**trashmouth:** y god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone: makes richie and eddie getting 2gether this big thing  
> me: Camp Rock


	4. altoid joints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weed, gays, and stubborness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was high while writing some of this so its kinda short lmao

**Friday, October 20th, 1:17 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**biverly:** guess who just scored

 **biverly:** who wants to skip the rest of the day and get high in the barrens

 **trashmouth:** count me in

 **billiam:** cant i have a math test 7th

 **Blessed:** that counts me out too

 **Stan the Man:** Hooligans, I’m in.

 **eddsworth:** ill be there

 **Egg Prince:** skippin school smh

 **biverly:** babe ur a fuckin nerd <3

 **Egg Prince:** <3

 **trashmouth:** ew

 **Stan the Man:** meet at the trail out back of the school?

 **trashmouth:** im already at the barrens

 **eddsworth:** wtf why

 **trashmouth:** they were up all night screaming so i didnt sleep

 **trashmouth:** and if i tried to stay home id be in deep shit so

 **billiam:** youre just sleeping in the barrens?

 **Stan the Man:** Don’t let PW get you.

 **Blessed:** yall ever gonna explain pw to me or

 **eddsworld:** one time richie showed up high to a group hang out at the fair and he thought one of the clowns was a murderer named pennywise the dancing clown

 **Blessed:** yall wild

**Friday, October 20th, 2:26 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**Stan the Man:** [sad.jpeg]

 **Stan the Man:** It took Bev 20 minutes to roll the shittiest Altoids joint on earth.

 **biverly:** staniel ur so unnapreciative

 **Stan the Man:** And then she lit it with a Yankee Candle match.

 **biverly:** rude

 **Egg Prince:** what the fuck is an altoids joint

 **eddsworth:** its where you roll the joint in those lil altoids papers, sometimes u throw some crushed up altoids in there for a better taste

 **Egg Prince:** edward holy shit

 **trashmouth:** im so proud rn

 **billiam:** minty weed

 **trashmouth:** [obamaislettuce.mov]

 **billiam:** richie when did u meet obama

 **trashmouth:** non of ur business loser

**Friday, October 20th, 8:59 p.m.**

**eddsworth // trashmouth**

**eddsworth:** youre not staying in the barrens again tonight right?

 **trashmouth:** im not dont worry eds, ive always got a place in the denbrough guest room

 **eddsworth:** dont call me eds, nerd

 **trashmouth:** <3

**Friday, October 20th, 10:05 p.m.**

**billiam added trashmouth, eddsworth, biverly, and Egg Prince to The Worst Idea**

**billiam:** so as we all know,,,

 **billiam:** i am Gay for a certain,, two boys,,

 **trashmouth:** its killing all of us

 **Egg Prince:** i think its cute

 **biverly:** ASK THEM OUT BILL!!!!!

 **eddsworth:** its painful to watch u 3 pine after eachother

 **billiam:** they dont like me dont fuckin lie

 **Egg Prince:** [stanconfessinghisundyinglove.jpeg]

 **eddsworth:** #exposed

 **billiam:** what about mike,,,

 **biverly:** [boyinlove.mov]

 **billiam:** is that a video,, of him taking abt me and stan,,, to ur aunt??

 **trashmouth:** ASK

 **biverly:** THEM

 **Egg Prince:** OUT

 **eddsworth:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **billiam:** okokok

**billiam added Stan the Man and Blessed to holy shit ok**

**billiam:** im sureur wondering why ive gathered u 2 here today

 **Stan the Man:** That’s a pretty serious lookin’ chat name.

 **Blessed:** whatever it is we got u bill!!

 **billiam:** soimlikeinlovewiththebothofyouisthatweirdthatsweirdright

 **Blessed:** I LOVE U TWO ALSO!!!!!!!!!!

 **Stan the Man:** Damb

 **billiam:** damb

 **Blessed:** damb

 **Stan the Man:** Oh, I love you guys too.

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**billiam:** [realsmoothstaniel.jpeg]

 **Stan the Man:** I’m breaking up with you, Mike is my only love now.

 **biverly:** god fuckin finally

**Saturday, October 21th, 2:01 a.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**billiam:** any of yall see richie??

 **eddsworth:** isnt he at your house??

 **trashmouth:** chill did you not see my note

 **billiam:** no i did not richie sorry for being worried about my best friend

 **trashmouth:** im at the park down the street i needed a smoke

 **eddsworth:** cig or joint

 **trashmouth:** cig

 **billiam:** that bad?

 **trashmouth:** ill be fine see you in an hour bill

**eddsworth // billiam**

**eddsworth:** youre worried too right

**billiam:** ofc but you know hes not gonna tell us whats up

**eddsworth:** i love him but holy shit

**billiam:** yea,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me?? set up for angst?? never,,
> 
> also!! im thinkin of writing out some of the stuff tht happens outside if the gc!! (richies confession, the weed, u kno) so lemme know if yall r interested in that!!!


	5. no homo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no homeo my bromeo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been basically asleep and then at school for the last few days so heres a bunch of stuff i wrote

**Saturday, October 21th, 9:30 a.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**billiam:** my moms chewing out richie for having cigs

 **biverly:** did he not?? hide them??

 **billiam:** georgie found em

 **Egg Prince:** richinald how dare you

 **Egg Prince:** teaching georgie bad habits,,

 **eddsworth:** a true monster

**trashmouth changed their nickname to richinald**

**richinald:** hey i put it in bills sock drawer

 **billiam:** thats where i keep my reeses stash richie

 **richinald:** fuck

**Saturday, October 21th, 9:42 a.m.**

**holy shit ok**

**Stan the Man changed the chat name to no homo but**

**Stan the Man:** Hey, no homo, but I love you two with my whole heart.

 **billiam:** aww ily2

 **Blessed:** stan ur the loml (u too bill <3)

 **Stan the Man:** <3 <3

**Saturday, October 21th, 4:19 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**richinald:** did yall get an essay in history too

 **Blessed:** arent u in apush

 **richinald:** yes my dear micholas idk why i even asked yall

**Blessed changed their nickname to micholas**

**Stan the Man changed their nickname to Staniel**

**biverly changed their nickname to bevelina**

**bevelina:** benvid where r u

**Egg Prince changed their nickname to benvid**

 

 **billiam:** amazing

 **Staniel:** I got the essay, Richie.

 **richinald:** i forgot u take apush too

 **Staniel:** You’re not the only smart kid here, Richard.

 **richinald:** say that to my full ap and honors schedule stanley

 **eddsworth:** wow i cant believe i have the smartest boyfriend

 **richinald:** only the best for u eds

 **eddsworth:** call me eds again and ill hit the smart out of u

 **richinald:** kinky

 **micholas:** gay

 **bevelina:** get a room

 **richinald:** ;-)

**Saturday, October 21th, 11:01 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**benvid:** hey i wrote a new poem who wants it

 **bevelina:** its already amazing and showstopping i know it

 **micholas:** show us!!!

 **billiam:** im sure its great

 **benvid:** okok

 **benvid:** romeo

 **benvid:** oh romeo

 **benvid:** no homeo

 **benvid:** my bromeo

 **bevelina:** ojcvaerv BEN

 **benvid:** yes dear?

 **billiam:** god that was beautiful,, a true masterpiece

 **micholas:** that will be my wedding vows

 **benvid:** thank u, it means so much

 **Staniel:** We could split the first three lines and say the last one together.

 **billiam:** i cant wait for our wedding :”-)

 **Staniel:** Why do you and Richie add noses?

 **billiam:** babe,,, what if he wants a nose,,,

 **Staniel:** Go to bed.

 **billiam:** goodnight my sweet princes

 **micholas:** <3 <3

 **benvid:** aww

**Sunday, October 22nd, 1:13 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**billiam:** so as you guys know,,, my parents go shopping on sundays and leave me with georgie

 **richinald:** i love georgie,,

 **billiam:** well he was distracted with the old looney toons i put on so i went out back for a joint because how does one watch looney toons when theyre not high

 **Staniel:** Very true, continue.

 **billiam:** georgie came out onto the back porch mid light and i burnt my hand putting out my joint and pretending i wasnt doing anything

 **Staniel:** Bill, holy shit.

 **benvid:** how dare you even think of exposing georgie to weed

 **billiam:** I WASNT TRYING TO

 **benvid:** whats next?? Furries??

 **billiam:** you leave my furries out of this

 **Staniel:** I can’t believe I’m dating a furry, at least Mike is pure.

 **micholas:** whats a furry,,,

 **Staniel:** Never change.

 **micholas:** <3

 **micholas:** but also,,, whats a furry,,,

 **billiam:** nope i refuse to corrupt you

 **benvid:** ur the corrupted one

 **billiam:** shhhhh,,,

**Sunday, October 22nd, 9:57 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**eddsworth:** so my mom tried to do that med shit again

 **richinald:** no offense but your mom is fuckin terrible

 **eddsworth:** none taken

 **bevelina:** are you gonna take them??

 **eddsworth:** hell no

 **eddsworth:** i flushed them the moment i saw them

 **benvid:** ill fight her

 **Staniel:** We’ll all fight her.

 **eddsworth:** thanks guys

 **richinald:** <3 ily

 **eddsworth:** <3 ily2

**Monday, October 23rd, 2:38 a.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**richinald:** THIS IS REAL

 **richinald:** THIS IS ME

 **richinald:** THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE IM SUPPOSED TO BE NOW

 **richinald:** GONNA LET THE LIGHT

 **richinald:** SHINE ON ME

 **richinald:** yall know what?? Mitchie is trans

 **richinald:** and Shane loves ans supports her the whole way

 **richinald:** god i kove Camp Rock,,

**Monday, October 23rd, 6:45 a.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**eddsworth:** aww,,,

 **bevelina:** god i love my sweet son, richie tozier

**Monday, October 23rd, 8:10 a.m.**

**eddsworth // richinald**

**eddsworth:** richie where are you??

 **eddsworth:** rich come on this isnt funny

 **eddsworth:** you never skip without telling me

 **eddsworth:** richie???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive got 3 things 2 address here  
> 1\. i wrote that no homeo poem and turned it in for a grade so like wish my luck  
> 2\. again,, the weed story is mine,,, but w my 13 y/o brother  
> 3\. i cant remember which chat fic inspired missing richie but if yall know blease tell me bc i cannot remember for the life of me (update!! tysm @Squishydish!! the fic is [pray 4 the gays](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12328818/chapters/28032795)!! please go give it lots of love its one of my faves!!)  
> bonus 4th. richies disappearance isnt serious like gone for 5 chapters probs only the next one
> 
>  
> 
> OR IS IT dun dun DUN (its mostly not)


	6. stans emo phase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: yea ill update  
> me, a week later: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FU
> 
> anyways please take this extra gay chapter as an apology

**Tuesday, October 24th, 2:24 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**bevelina:** mike and i searched the barrens and no sign of him

 **benvid:** stan and i didnt get anything from downtown

 **eddsworth:** we didnt find shit either

 **eddsworth:** holy shit hes gone isnt he

 **bevelina:** im sure well find him soon

 **Staniel:** Did anyone go to his house?

 **micholas:** i hoisted bev through richies window, nothin

 **billaim:** lets get back to searching and hope he turns up soon

**Tuesday, October 24th, 8:37 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**billiam:** [georgielovesyall.mov]

 **billiam:** i know this is stressful so

 **benvid:** god bless georgie,,

 **eddsworth:** thanks bill, tell georgie i love him,,

 **bevelina:** georgie,, a true hero,, there for us when we need him,,

 **micholas:** try to get some sleep tonight guys

 **eddsworth:** night,,

**Wednesday, October 25th, 4:07 a.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**bevelina:** [safe.jpeg]

 **bevelina:** richie scared the shit out of my aunt climbing through the fire escape but hes ok

 **eddsworth:** tell him if he ever does this shit again i will end him with my own two fucking hands

 **billiam:** im coming over

 **eddsworth:** me too

 **bevelina:** guys stay home, get some sleep, you can chew him out in the morning

 **billiam:** beverly

 **bevelina:** william, dont worry ill keep you guys posted

 **micholas:** tell richie im glad hes home and that i love him

 **bevelina:** i will mickey, dont worry

**Wednesday, October 25th, 9:12 a.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**eddsworth:** beverly open your door im outside i know your aunt already left for work

 **bevelina:** were actually at dennys right now

 **eddsworth:** beverly just let me see my boyfriend

 **bevelina:** patience young padawan, my aunt wanted the full story before you got to him

 **eddsworth:** what IS the full story

 **Staniel:** We should probably let Richie decide how much he wants to tell us, we don’t know what happened. Eddie calm down, I’ll meet you by the Aladdin as soon as I can get out of this class.

 **micholas:** my beautiful boyfriend,, doing what he was BORN to do,,, be a loving caring leader

 **Staniel:** Babe, please, I love you.

 **micholas:** <3<3<3

**Wednesday, October 25th, 5:40 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**bevelina:** alright all the messy stuff has been cleaned up and richie told me to tell yall to come over now

 **eddsworth:** thank fucking god me and stan have been waiting down the street for hours

 **benvid:** i see you guys now

 **billiam:** im getting on my bike now

 **micholas:** im with ben

 **bevelina:** the doors unlocked

**Friday, October 27th, 2:59 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**richinald:** i cant wait to go in on monday and get called a truant

 **Staniel:** Technically we’re were all already truants at this point, we didn’t go to school almost the entire time you were gone and counting the days we’ve all skipped before that.

 **benvid:** as much as i love you richie i couldnt become a truant for you my mom would kill me

 **richinald:** understandable, have a nice day

 **eddsworth:** i cant believe richie dissapeared for literally 3 days and when he comes back he 1. doesnt tell us shit and 2. continues to be the same meme fucker as always

 **richinald:** babe u love me,,,

 **eddsworth:** unfortunately

 **benvid:** its nice to have you back rich

 **richinald:** id say its nice to be back but i know bill is gonna bring up furries at any moment

 **billiam:** how did you,,,

 **richinald:** bill dont do it

 **billiam:** fine ill keep my fursona to myself

 **Staniel:** I’m breaking up with Bill, Mike is my one and only boyfriend.

 **benvid:** wefouchwefvc

**Saturday, October 28th, 3:00 a.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**bevelina:** WHAT ARE WE DOING FOR HALLOWEEN

 **micholas:** HORROR MOVIES AT MY PLACE?

 **billiam:** ILL BRING THE CANDY

 **Staniel:** 1\. Go to bed you heathens and 2. I’ll be there.

 **billiam:** nighty sweethearts <3<3<3

 **bevelina:** <3<3

 **billiam:** bev sweetie no

 **bevelina:** how fucking dare u not include me in your goodnights

 **bevelina:** blocked and reported mike is my new best friend

 **micholas:** night niew best friend <3<3

 **bevelina:** night!! <3<3

**Tuesday, October 31st, 7:45 a.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**benvid:** yall my teacher is dressed as a clown

 **richinald:** ASK HIM IF HES PW

 **billiam:** ASK HIM ASK HIM

 **Staniel:** That is such an unbelievably bad idea, do it.

 **bevelina:** holy shit i just walked in and

 **bevelina:** [SHOOK.jpeg]

 **eddsworth:** PW ISTHAT YOU

 **bevelina:** ben baby ask him ill film it

 **benvid:** im doin it,,,

 **bevelina:** [ITSPW.mov]

 **richinald:** wait clown?? Wasnt one of the choices??

 **benvid:** WHO PAYED 50 BUCKS FOR MR HUPPE TO DRESS AS A CLOWN

 **micholas:** :)

 **billiam:** mike oh my god

 **Staniel:** I can’t believe my boyfriend, Mike Hanlon, is a fucking legend.

 **micholas:** ejfnvhefv ily2 stan

 **billiam:** ive never been more proud in my LIFE

 **micholas:** <3<3<3

**Tuesday, October 31st, 12:59 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**billiam:** [milevenirl.jpeg]

 **bevelina:** YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **eddsworld:** this took too much convincing, he only went with it when i told him id wear the bitchin outfit

 **richinald:** BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND LOOKS BITCHIN

 **bevelina:** and yall didnt even notice my closet barb costume

 **billiam:** i didnt want to point it out until i could get a pic of all three of you guys together

 **benvid:** ive already said this a million times but bev u make an amazing barb ur givin her the justice she deserves

 **bevelina:**!!!!!!!!!BABE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **benvid:** <3<3<3

 

**Wednesday, November 1st, 2:17 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**Staniel:** Wow I can’t believe it’s the best time of year already.

 **micholas:** christmas??

 **Staniel:** I’m Jewish, babe, it’s Hanukkah time. It’s the time of year where I can eat as much matzo as I want and my grandmother won’t criticize me for gaining wieght.

 **micholas:** noah fence, but matzo is kinda gross

 **Staniel:** “Noah fence”, but I’m breaking up with you. Matzo is fantastic.

 **bevelina:** stan: i love my boyfriends so much

 **bevelina:** also stan: fuck you

 **billiam:** and yet i still love him,,

 **Staniel:** Sometimes, those we love, hurt us the most.

 **benvid:** wtf thats so fuckin emo

 **billiam:** i cant believe stan is finally having his emo phase

**Staniel // billiam**

**Staniel:** So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties.

 **billiam:** STAN WHAT DOES THIS EVEN M E A N

**Saturday, November 4th, 2:17 p.m.**

**THE DANGER ZONE™**

**benvid:** reminder that i love my beautiful amazing girlfriend beverly marsh shes the queen of my heart and i would die for her

 **bevelina:** BEN OH MY GOD <3<3<3<3

 **billiam:** if we’re gettin Romantic

 **billiam:** stan ur my ra ra rasputin

 **micholas:** what am i

 **billiam:** ur the russian queen obvi

 **micholas:** <3<3<3

 **Staniel:** In what way do I even compare to Russia’s greatest love machine, William? He’s Russia’s greatest love machine. Rasputin is a holy healer, William.

 **richinald:** clearly if anyone is rasputin, its me, and eddie is my russian queen

 **eddsworth:** ur really over pricin urself there babe

 **richinald:** ive been wounded

 **richinald:** i thought u loved me edward

 **eddsworth:** perish

 **richinald:** D:

 **Staniel:** Is Eddie “Mistew Obama” in this situation?

 **richinald:** DIE

 **Staniel:** That wouldn’t be fun, now would it?

**micholas:** eddie u ok

**eddsworth:** richie ate my fries AGAIN

**micholas:** what the fuck richard

**benvid:** what the fuck richard

**bevelina:** what the fuck richard

**Staniel:** What the fuck, Richard?

**billiam:** what the fuck richard

**richinald:** I BOUGHT THEM

**eddsworth:** FOR ME

**richinald:** I SPENT MY OWN MONEY ON THOSE FRIES

**Staniel:** I have to agree with Richie here, if he bought them, he is entitled to at least some of the fries.

**eddsworth:** i cant believe ive been betrayed like this this isnt fair

**Staniel:** Life isn’t fair, Eddie. Read a history book and you’d know that.

**benvid:** stan is out here destroyin ppl today

**billiam:** you mean everyday bc my boyfriend is the sass king

**micholas:** how did we get someone so perfect

**richinald:** gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did yall?? think i was gonna?? tell yall why richie disappeared?? lmao yall get to wonder
> 
> also i might just skip to whatever day i next update bc god damn i really fucked myself over lmao


End file.
